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Collars are a good safe alternative to neck bondage — I was taught the rule is to fit two fingers between neck and collar, which should be plenty snug for most folks. Manawolf says:. This is the person who controls the sexual play and situations. If you are the dom in the relationship, start by asking your submissive partner what they want to try and what their soft limits are. When the sub comes down from this state their level of endorphins will drop and they may feel very exhausted. One great way to find a potential partner is to let that person blindfold you and guide you around a public place.

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